Scared.
My country is making a law that if a student whose tuition was funded by the state leaves Hungary for a job abroad, they will have to pay back the tuition fee. I don’t like this. This is not the middle ages and i’m not a serf to be bound to the soil. I am not pleased with the leadership of our country at all, which makes me want to leave. I am planning to flee my homeland to study fashion in Denmark. It is not easy and i’m afraid of making the wrong decision. I mean, all this time i had been planning to live in Budapest. I am in love with Budapest, i love the dirty old buildings, i love the socialist style metro, i love the 19th century railway stations, i love the yellow trams, i love how screwed up it can be and most of all i love all the memories that the city brings back. I have been planning to live there for years. And all of a sudden i am throwing it all away. I would love to study fashion, which is something practical, as opposed to English or Swedish that i would be studying here. I would love to do something really innovative. But it means leaving behind my family and friends and my poor Hungarian dreams. While i am comfortable in Budapest, i would be absolutely foreign in Herning. Herning is a small town. I want to live in big cities. Studying English or Swedish is worthless. Studying fashion is a dream come true. My boyfriend will move to Hungary easier than to Denmark. I don’t want to live in an authoritarian country. My dream is to live in Scandinavia. I am scared. I don’t know what is right or wrong.
